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Monthly Archives: March 2013

New friend

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So this is Frankie Smalls. He is a French Bulldog and we were a little nervous when we offered to keep him for a few days. With Sebastian’s passing Rowdy has been strange. He pooped for the very first time in the house a few days back so we were not sure how he would greet Frankie.
Bored.. they barely acknowledge each other. Last night we played with them separately and they had fun, we tried to get them to play together and they just looked at us. Now Frankie is a strange looking pup and so is Rowdy. Only thing I can figure out is that they are not sure the other one is actually a dog so they just relaxed and said “whatever”.



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So it has taken a while but I finally understand. Vets are as different as Dr’s or car salesmen. Our Husky Sebastian had heart worms many years ago. We took Sebastian to our vet at the time, the South Branch Bird and Animal clinic on Ben White Blvd. They insisted Sebastian stay with them kenneled for two weeks. Immobile. He was around 6 at the time, very active. When we voiced concern out vet said he had to be completely immobile. We were concerned about the cruelty of this. He was a ranch dog and accustom to running free on our 2 acres We asked if we could do the treatment at home. Just keep him in the house and watch him. We also asked about the infestation. We were told he only had larva but it would turn into adult worms and it would kill him without the treatment. Our children at this time were young. Our finances were horrible. They insisted the dog would die and it only cost 800.00 for the treatment if we did indeed “love” this dog we would find the money. We did, weeks of eating beans and peanut butter. Only using money for gas to get to work and back.

Later that year we took our cat to Animal Trustees of Austin where they told us they could have done the treatment for 150 but why did our vet insist on doing the treatment with kenneling? We stopped using this vet? Greed.

A few weeks ago we took our lab/Newfoundland in for shots at our current vets office Town and Country animal hospital. They found heart-worms in Trey. They gave us a 30 dollar prescription, We have a follow up visit in 6 weeks. Kindness. They also came to the car when we had to put Sebastian down. They administered the shots while we sat in the back of the truck around him. Escorting him as far as we could to his next destination.

Vets matter. If the vet you are using tries to make you feel guilty for not “loving” you pet enough to take food from your table to give him the latest greatest treatments for whatever ails him. Run do not walk away from this person. Like any other profession on earth some do it for love others do it for money.

Our Sebastian goodbye my baby

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I want you to know. I had to use your money. It broke my heart, I had no choice. I am bipolar, I have been on a roller coaster. This roller coaster has included; hospitalization, over-medication, anxiety for me and Rowdy, Trey and Sebastian. Our cat Fred just disappears when the going gets rough. My job because of policy had to stop giving me a check for about a month. Because of this I have used Rowdy’s money to purchase medication for him and the other animals. Two days ago we decided to put Sebastian down. He was a beautiful bi colored eyed Siberian husky and Malamute mix. We had no choice. I could not pick him up and hold him up to poop any more and he cried incessantly. I feel horrible that we took so long to do this. With our drama we could not imagine losing him as well. This was an injustice to an animal that gave us his all on a daily basis. Our vet is incredible, she allowed us to keep him in the back of the car with two of the kids my brother and Joe and I holding him as he entered his next existence. It was as hard and as beautiful as you could imagine.

Since this has always been Rowdy’s blog. I would like to share his experience as witnessed by me. Rowdy has been over anxious for months, he is my familiar. Not just my pet. He sleeps in my bed and has to touch me at least two to three times a day to calm himself. I am the same. One of the things that the hospital denied me was my puppy, it was incredibly hard. Rowdy did not go outside all day once Sebastian started the crying. We have a puppy that belongs to the neighbor and we did not want the dogs to see us bury Sebastian. He was their daddy. As much as it hurt us I knew it would throw them into a mourning we could not fix. I decided to bring in the neighbors puppy that always roams our property because this would bring Trey peace. He plays with this puppy every day. When the puppy came in Rowdy attacked him. I put Rowdy in the bedroom to keep him away from the puppy. The psychology worked on Trey it kept him busy until he calmed down and stopped trying to break through the window to see what was going on. When I put the puppy outside Rowdy was angry. Very angry he ran to his babies and started chewing and huffing. I decided to pick him up to calm him. It had the opposite effect he fought me and would not stay in my lap. He is very smart. He is from the streets. I brought in a new puppy and his daddy was gone. I get it. So instead of trying to hold him. I put my body over his in a crouch. He pulled away and ran from me. A few minutes later I did the same thing again. This went on for about 30 minutes until he allowed me to be his alpha. About an hour later he allowed me to pick him up. Yesterday he was sad and stayed in mine or my brothers lap all day. Today is better. Tomorrow will be better still.

Losing Sebastian during our crisis has been hard on us. We just have to remember, even though animals may not communicate like we do that does not mean they do not hurt. We will be ok. It will take time and patience. Our next dog will be another rescue. Something big and furry, because those are the ones that people get and don’t bother to realize they live in town and dogs over 100 pounds do not do well in the city. I do not know when this will happen. Someday when my animals let me know they have mourned and are ready I will start the hunt for our new family member.

Until then you have about 300 left from the 900 we originally put in safe keeping. We still need to fix Rowdy. The link still works, if you want a reimbursement I will be happy to send it to you. This is not what you signed up for. This is not what I signed up for either, just what my life has given me. If you want to send me some money to help on this ridiculous journey the link on the other page still works. I just ask you to love your animals, they do not live as long as us.

Who is Devo the person?

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Who is Devo the person?.

To be fair

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To be fair.

For my Warrior Princesses and Prince without Fear do somethin

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For my Warrior Princesses and Prince without Fear do somethin.

And the winner is?

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For the beautiful people who read my trite sometimes powerful or touching writing. I need to share something. I am on a personal journey. If you have seen the Robin Williams/De Niro film:


And occasionally a little Jack Nickelson …..not as much as I have seen but admittedly there have been days…

So the occasional cry for attention can be forgiven. I have two little mantras I use these days first is “Steal my show” if anything you see inspires you please use some or all. I would like a credit because I am human, but I completely understand if you need the credit today.  Friends have no worries I am being watched by smart, funny people so this journey will be a paradigm shift. I will make no life decisions until my math and spelling skills return.

I want you to know this because this is a personal/public blog. I am using it as a sort of filing system for ideas I want to explore later, when my headache leaves. I am unsure what we will know at the end of the road. I do know I feel free for the first time in my life and it is fantastic. Free of will and mind. Without the urge to break anyone else. I think that is called maturity. Once I thought I was free but if you punish yourself by hurting others you are not free. 

I am sharing this because sometimes it gets lonely in here. I cried out a while back and got this answer, paraphrased because it came in different formats:

This is not a good format to use, it is hard to comment, you are loved.

For today this is enough. I believe in God-not dogma. So anyone who finds this is here for a reason. So I say to you “you are loved” and for today that is enough.