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Monthly Archives: January 2013


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I am home in more ways than one. I am physically back in Texas. I am emotionally relaxing. Vegas is awesome and overpowering. But more importantly I am home with Rowdy. He is finally realizing I am back. When I first got home last night around midnight he went nuts as usual but more..if you can imagine that. He would not let me do anything but love him. After about 10 min he acknowledged Joe and then proceeded to relax with us both. 

Home usually means a building in which you sleep but in my odd, fantastic relationship with this broken puppy home means in each others arms. So we are both happy to be home.


Tommy can you hear me

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SO when I was in high school my all time favorite music was the original Tommy album. I will assume you have come to the conclusion that life can be hard sometimes. This album for some reason helped me get through some tough times. Way before the film came out. There was a particular song called “do you think its alright”. This was a reference to Tommy’s parents leaving him with a cousin called Kevin…now Kevin was a sadist. Yep straight up even has his own song about how he will torture Tommy when mom and dad are not around. 

The reason I bring this up is my puppies are staying with their Uncle Ben. Uncle Ben is one of the kindest, gentlest most spiritual white light people I have ever known. So it is funny to me that that song is stuck in my head… hmmm guilt?

I do not think Rowdy would have a good time with us here at the Mirage, but I still have guilt. He is, I guarantee you being spoiled  without honor. I am sure the game is Ben takes a bite then Rowdy takes a bite. The last time he stayed with Ben he barely acknowledged me when we got home….he had his Ben. 

So while I know he is beyond happy right now I guess it is just me missing my writing partner, I will push through. I just do not have anyone to share my early morning disease with and that makes life a little less fun.

Bird 101

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So I am a tweeter now….my children will be so proud. Or is is embarrassed, no worries. They have had me for several years now so either way they will work through it. Once you have had a spanking from a clown everything else is gravy. Yes for those who do not know I was/am on occasion a professional clown. This adventure started when my beautiful 24 year old was born so they are accustom to being proud/embarrassed. Grand children are just peaking over the horizon so the learning curve is not an issue. Significant others please be warned I have opinions, and I am loud. If the kids can deal you will learn to. Feel free to say I don’t know her. This is a viable option.

Oh and I actually told my lovely daughter the other day she should check out my fb page…..I am really looking forward to dementia so I have an excuse for my ridiculousness.

Until then beautiful people remember, what does not kill us makes us stronger.

Make it stop part deux

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So I got a call today from Citi Bank. They own Sears credit. The gentleman was named Fred his number was GC00349. He sounded like Andy Griffin or maybe your favorite southern Uncle. Either way he was kind and I need kind these days. He was only able to take off one months charges but he told me I have account care which is funny. Because this whole mess started when I thought I was in arrears. Which is what account care does. Now what they don’t tell you is you have to file a claim. If I am in the weeds the last thing I am going to do is file a claim. Here is the funny part the account is closed and i still have them charging me for account care…Federal law regulation Z forbade them to keep something on my account i was unaware of. I should be able to have them reimburse me partially for the non working service. Also Fred gave me a back-line that will not charge me to make a pmt. You go Fred. Oh and he called because Citi asked me to fill out a customer service survey and I did. Nice to know someone reads those. Thanks Fred.

in and out up and down

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Ouch…my back started spasms at 4 so staying in bed is not an option. After yoga stretches and heating pad it relaxed. Now here is the issue. When the dogs and cat see I am awake they want things. Loudly…the in and out requires the up and down. At times like this I wonder why I have animals. I am trying desperately not to wake Joe. It is difficult. It takes a few minutes to get up and they are an impatient lot. Barking will wake him. How do I communicate this. Then when I limp to the back door and desperately shush Trey he looks up with those beautiful brown eyes and I remember…he does not own a watch. Only a desire to be near me. So I forgive him. Again. I would love to remind Joe of these mornings when he gets impatient with me. But what is the use? It is mine and the animals. Better to keep him in the dark…get it ” the dark”. Crap it is early.

shhhh be very very quiet

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I have a problem my eyes open every morning between 5 and 6 am. Sometimes my body does not allow me to even sleep till 5. My back is out and this morning at 4:15 it woke me up loudly. I  decided to sneak to the couch where I have my heating pad for some relief. Which was heaven, problem is the puppies decided they wanted to get up around 6am.

Now today is Saturday, Joe has insomnia. He normally goes to sleep between 12 and 1. Getting up at 6 makes for a very hard day. So on days like today I play guess what I want. After getting off the couch three times to let everyone in and out. Trey decided he needed some attention. Luckily I got to the bedroom door before he did.

Nope it is 6:45 he saw I was distracted and knocked it open with his head…score the ribbon we keep  on the knob held.

Then there is the” I need section”. I need food and water now mom. Barking indicates this. Or meowing depending on weather or not Fred is playing. So my mornings flux between reading, writing and shushing.

Oh and thank you so much for the suggestions I am going to gently try to get Joe to allow me to take Sebastian in to see the Dr. I love my husband but he has not seen a Dentist in years and is three years overdue on his checkup. You see if you do not face it – it could not possibly be real….


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So Sebastian is 14. Sebastian is sad. I do not want to lose him. I do not know what to do. Every pet we have had up to this point has either run away or slipped quietly away.

When I got home from moms on Monday he had fallen in the tiny corner we keep the food in. It is an entryway to our back patio. I do not know how long he had laid there but it took a good 10 min of walking him by holding his back hips to get him to be able to stand alone.

I have heard the horror stories of hemorrhaging and having to call a neighbor with a gun, waiting too long, allowing him to be in constant pain before deciding it is time. I love my puppy but I don’t know when it is time.

We have a gift with our animals. We get to decide when they have had enough. Humans do not have that gift. My friend yesterday made a comment that she wished we had a plug we could pull ourselves when we knew it was time. She watched her mom beg for death for four years as she was bedridden and had to rely on others for basic need fulfillment. If you have gone through this with a beloved pet I need to hear from you. I think it is time. Joe does not. I respect him and Sebastian and am willing to wait but when is it time? Yesterday when I got home from work he was standing in front of me barking loudly, I looked him in the eyes and asked what he wanted. He slowly walked towards me and buried his head in my lap….I would give anything to speak dog.